A guy passed away in the hills near a small Kentucky town one January day. The town was built around a square, which was the only level ground in the area. The cemetery was located just outside of town on a hill.
The weather was cold the day of the funeral and roads were snow-packed and icy. After the church memorial service, the hearse drove to the edge of town and parked. The pallbearers picked up the casket and started carrying it up the hill
Half way up the hill, one of the pallbearers slipped and fell, which caused the others to drop the casket. The casket began to slide downhill, picking up speed as it headed back towards town. It slid into the city square and crashed through the front of a drug store. It slammed into the drug counter at the rear of the store. The lid popped open and the dead man sat up.
The pharmacist, who was startled by all the comotion, leaned over the counter and asked the corpse, "May I help you?".
The cadaver replied, "I'm just lookin for something to stop this coffin!"